Standing on the edge
4 Comments Published by Spiderstu on Wednesday, September 08, 2004 at 10:42 pm.
It’s tough when someone you’ve loved goes away from you, whatever form it may take. The range of emotions you go though is endless; hell there’s even probably a few new ones in there. But it takes a long time come to terms with.
I’m not talking about moping around 24/7 and wallowing in self-pity for all to see. But more like the times when you lie awake in bed at night and you feel a slight yearning in the pit of your stomach for that someone you once had. Or the times you’re on a bus and your mind wanders back that perfect august afternoon you both spent together. Or maybe its just moment the two of you shared.
It’s easy to get caught up these moments no matter how long you’ve been apart, Weeks, months, or even years after. And it’s very easy to put yourself into that painful, self-loathing, jealous hole that’s deep inside of you when you realise it’s gone.
God knows I’ve done this time after time after time and then some! Tonight I stood on the edge of that hole and I rocked back and forth. When a part of me that usually takes a long holiday to Crete as soon as I get in this mood tapped me on the shoulder.
Hope pulled me back tonight. I’ve never seen it there before. Maybe I wasn’t looking for it and maybe it got pissed of because it was staring me right in the face and I couldn’t see it… maybe I didn’t want to. Who knows?
But one thing I do know, whatever it is I’m looking for to fill that void that’s been left, it’s not in the life I lead at the moment.
I think it’s finally time for a few changes.
I’m not talking about moping around 24/7 and wallowing in self-pity for all to see. But more like the times when you lie awake in bed at night and you feel a slight yearning in the pit of your stomach for that someone you once had. Or the times you’re on a bus and your mind wanders back that perfect august afternoon you both spent together. Or maybe its just moment the two of you shared.
It’s easy to get caught up these moments no matter how long you’ve been apart, Weeks, months, or even years after. And it’s very easy to put yourself into that painful, self-loathing, jealous hole that’s deep inside of you when you realise it’s gone.
God knows I’ve done this time after time after time and then some! Tonight I stood on the edge of that hole and I rocked back and forth. When a part of me that usually takes a long holiday to Crete as soon as I get in this mood tapped me on the shoulder.
Hope pulled me back tonight. I’ve never seen it there before. Maybe I wasn’t looking for it and maybe it got pissed of because it was staring me right in the face and I couldn’t see it… maybe I didn’t want to. Who knows?
But one thing I do know, whatever it is I’m looking for to fill that void that’s been left, it’s not in the life I lead at the moment.
I think it’s finally time for a few changes.
What does all this mean? You found a bird and not told me Uart!
Rog
Alas no... I did get a new dvd today though :D...:|
yeah but your nose plays the scottish bagpipes for the scottish world challenge of log throwing. Peter
Ohhhhhhhhhh almond balls giving it all the lip like smacking his gums in public go suck a dick vagina hole i can smell the juices flowing from your nostrels you sorry son of a bitch MEOW!