Spiderstu's World

Spider-Man 2 has finally be unleashed on the masses of the UK, and about freaking time! As of current press I've only seen it twice. Once on opening night with John, Adam, Ronnie and Richard and the second time on my own.
 
Sunday came and I just had to see it again, I had agreed to go watch it with my Dad but he had a headache and I could tell he really wanted to watch the golf, so let him off. It was actually quite liberating going on my own (something I've never done before.) I kinda wish I hadn't chose the Sunday afternoon showing though as the whole place was full with kids running around with Spider-Man 2 popcorn buckets on their heads.
 
After the showing I was having a fag outside and two kids started having a pop corn fight in front of me. "Oh how fun" I thought, and it was until it turned ugly. Child number 1 (lets call him Rupert) suddenly realized that child number 2 (Wilbur) still had half a bucket of popcorn left, while he had none. So Rupert obviously not wanting to lose threw his popcorn bucket at Wilbur. To which Wilbur started to cry and in a tearful frenzy start punching Rupert in the head.
 
Ok so now I had two 9 year olds rolling around at my feet parents nowhere in sight and trying to kill each other popcorn buckets to boot. "Hmmmm" My brain kicked in. "You think we should do something?" a valid question, but then a few scenarios ran through my head:

1. In attempting to break up the frackas the kids turn on me and accuse me of assault, I get named and shamed as a child beater in the local, national and international newspapers. I then Go to jail after a long period spent in remand. When I get out the Child's Father is waiting for me and knifes me in the chest as soon as I step out of the prison gates.
2. In attempting to break up the scuffle one of the kids lashes out and cops me pretty well in the face. How I got a black eye from a 9 year old is a story I don't want to tell to anybody.
3. The kids are actually mutants and posses superhuman abilities and their struggle is one that has raged for years and years. My interaction only enrages them and they erase my existence with a mere thought.

Ok so the last one's kind of out there (probably the result of the film I'd just watched!) Luckily by the time all this had ran through my head one of the parents had surfaced and split it up. I also gathered from her look of disgust at me That splitting it up would have been the right choice. But then I though "Hey lady, their your freaking kids, where the hell were you!? Great parenting!"

I think I'll go to the cinema on my own more often!